Difficulties in Developing a Forgiving Heart

Martyrdom of St Stephen by Giorgio Vasari (during the 1560’s.) In the public domain

Difficulties in Developing a Forgiving Heart

Matthew 18:21-35

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matthew 6:14-15 – NASB)

If I were asked to write a book on the five most essential teachings on the Christian life, one I could never allow myself to omit would be the Bible’s teaching on forgiveness.  I am not speaking here of God’s forgiveness, for no one can even enter the Christian life without that.  No, I would include a chapter, a very long chapter, on the necessity of forgiving others for the trespasses they have committed against us.

At some point I would focus on the difficulties in developing a forgiving heart.

1. The feeling that if I forgive someone for what they have done, I am somehow condoning their actions.  This is to confuse the meaning of forgiveness.  Both Jesus and Stephen prayed for the forgiveness of their persecutors, without condoning their actions.  Indeed, Stephen had previously accused them of always resisting the Holy Spirit.

2. The mistaken idea that the onus is on the other person to change before I can forgive them.  True, they must first repent before they can fully enjoy the forgiveness of God, but that is between them and God.  The command of Christ to us is: But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:44-45)

The motivation for forgiveness is a desire to be like the Father, not to use forgiveness as a lever to force change in another.  Changing the other person is God’s business – forgiving them is ours.

An Example to Follow

(© Monday 15^th December – by Christopher Shennan)

Then falling on his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” Having said this, he fell asleep. (Acts 7:60 – NASB)

“Do not hold this sin against them!”

Stephen the brave martyr cried out;

Stones thrown with hate rained upon him –

Forgiveness was all he could shout.

He did not approve their actions,

Or utter a curse or demand;

He called on God to forgive them,

As his blood dripped down in the sand.

Such an example to follow,

Should set our cold hearts aflame;

It should make us once more desire

To love our dear Saviour again.

Forgiveness is not just an option,

Or a fashion, passing away;

It’s a fire that burns in you

Demanding forgiveness today.

Walk in the footsteps of Jesus,

And some of His followers, too;

Don’t make excuses and falter –

The loss will be too much for you.

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